Shivers

Well, this is a part of a text I've been writing these holidays. It has an erotic touch, so I hope that nobody laugh at me or something like that TT The last lines are the most difficult to write, and after trying to continue them several times, I finally gave up.


"A hut in the forest, with views to the garden of your love, full of wilted flowers and spines. Like my sanctuary, a broken feelings' bed and on the walls scars that open when it rains. At night with four candles, waiting that a blow of wind knocks at the door and I found you there, wondering why you're here and not anywhere else.


You appear one afternoon, when the last leaf falls. Hesitating you wait for a signal that gives you the reason why you came. We sit down on the best memories I have, although ignoring them compleatly, like they have ever existed. I catch your hand and my fingers get warm little by little, involved in you. I approach to your lips, forgetting to breathe. I hug you and leave my words on your chest. Returning to reality you look at the roof. You don't want to be here but like it. You want to fly without concerns, go to the moon if you wish it, without lies, without remorse or rancour, be yourself. I'm not in your new dreams, and the only way to get me there another time would be getting back to the past. I caress your cheek but you don't notice. If you'd pay a little attention you'd see that I'm crying inside, shouting, asking for help and that you're the only one who can save me from this nightmare. I kiss you, this time stronger, banishing you thoughts. You let me do while I get down slowly by your neck. Your breathing gets quicker. How I had missed it... My hair dances on your skin when I move. You let down the zipper. Shivers through my heart. So many cold afternoons and now it seems like we reach the sun."

And now you're swimming for the shore...

What's happening? Are you giving up? Didn't you say that you'd never gonna give up? Hey, you promised it, why are tou breaking it now?
It was my destiny to love him, but not if he's not at my side. I won't fly to those illusion cloud again to then fall. I don't want to fall, I don't want to have a life with an empty meaning, I can't live in a dream forever. Look, I've done all that was in my hands and then I built higher limits (maybe I'll explain it someday) and reach them again. I did the best I could.
If you didn't change your mind during so long, why would you do it now? I know you won't do it.
I suppose that you know what I want to hear, and words are easy to tell 'cause lying isn't so difficult when you play with feelings. You know, I can't fight versus society, I'm one and they are hundreds. They'll always believe you, like the rumor you started and has convinced yourself now.
I love you too much to make you do something you don't want to do, and more you won't be happy like that.

Three meters above sky

There's you and me and anyone else. This time yes, we'll break all the rules. You don't have to worry about anything. We'll draw our future with our hands, full of colours. Forget the world, don't tink and lose your time with me.

Now I'm going to explain a film I really recomend to watch - "Three meters above sky". There only problem is that you can just see it in Italian and subtitled in Spanish, because it hasn't been translated. It's based on the book of Federico Moccia with the same name. I really liked the book, and so the second part and the films. It's about a boy who's always in trouble and a very responsible girl that hate each other, but then they finally fall in love. The film shows the things you do for love but in a extremely romantic view, the kind of things that everybody has some time dreamt of. It's so beautiful.
I was looking for the part I liked the most but I didn't find it complete, so here are the last minutes of it.



Step: I'm scared of telling you something wrong... I love you
Babi: Say it again...
Step: I love you
Babi: Never stop saying it
Step: I love you, I love you, I love you
Babi: I've never been so happy in my life
Step: Me neither
Babi: So happy that you can touch the sky with a finger?
Step: No, a lot more... at least three meters above the sky

Pieces of me

-Your life is like a puzzle, and now you have some pieces missing so you have to look for the ones that can replace the others. Where is the problem? I'll try to help you, there are pieces everywhere. Look, here there's one, it's me. Let's start again.
-But it isn't that easy. If my life is a puzzle, the picture on it is him and me together. Now there's a hole between us, so I have to full it with us. Any other piece that isn't from him can cover this empty space, 'cause they don't fit, and if they do, the picture it's not the same.
-I know it's difficult when you've already been full, but maybe you've chosen the wrong box, and you have to follow a different life and start again from zero.
-Or maybe he has hidden the pieces and I might fight for them... What should I do?
-I don't know, I can't decide for you. Look for the one that makes you happier and then fight for it until the end and, if you don't success, you can always try another dream.

Always the destiny and his contradiccions... impossible is nothing, isn't it? :)

Details in the fabric

This is a new land, where everythig's buildings and cars, shops, people... Lots of people, but there's nobody. I feel the ground under my feet but it's diferent, it's more difficult to go on. I need something to believe. Believe that when I come back nothing will have changed.
I see you in the crowd but you disapear. You're like a shooting star.
My way is like a river, and you're my sea, so promise that you'll stay. Everything's so fragile and I want somewhere to start. It's this crazy clock that goes so slowly when you're not at my side.
There are too many clouds the sky and it's so cold without you. Don't you know that I'd follow you to the most hidden shores, to get you? I can be the wind for you. Come back.
Like those song I used to sing said: "If it's a broken part replace it, if it's a broken arm then brace it, if it's a broken heart then face it... and hold your own, know your name and go your own way [...] Are the things that make you blow have no reason, go on and scream. If you're shocked it's just a fault of faulty manufacturing".

Whatever you want, I'd do anything

The world keeps walking, the sun's still shining, but upon you seems to be raining all the time. You go out to the street and everybody has their own lifes and complications. A little tear falls from your wet eyes when the memories invade your head. Anybody has noticed it, good luck or maybe not. You need somebody to take care of you like he did. "Hey, you have to forget" they say... you know it's not that easy to start again when you had it all. You wonder if you'll be blown away. It's not in your hands, you just have to wait for the destiny, those destiny that was yours and became hell.
And someone could tell me the best love songs and poems, someone could teach me how to be a good lover or to pat the moon with my hand, but it wouldn't really mean anything if it wasn't you.

The posts are a little bit borring with so many texts, so here is a song I really like to listen to. The most popular song of the group is "Wherever you will go", but I'm sure you have listened it before, so I'll try with this one.

Anything - The Calling

Love it's life's motor

He's an squat in my body, kicking the heart, appearing in my mind, blowing my eyes, shagging my lungs... How does he want that I forget him if he lives in me?
I don't know what I dream of, if what people say it's true, I don't know what I think or what I have to think, don't know if I have you or I'm losing you another time. From illusions you live, until the reality fogs it. But when the clouds leave, you shine again, and while you're shinning, I won't turn off.
And I don't remember how to fight. I did, but not now. It's too difficult to find the way to change a false point of view. You can try to cheat the destiny going to nowhere, but he'd cross in your
way again. Like a boat across the ocean, I follow your light to get the shore, and if you're reflected on the water, I'll get drown of you tonight.

My shiny stars

And they speak like erase feelings was as easy as the pencil with a rubber: if you are wrong, with a couple of times that you pass it on the paper, there remains no sign. Every moment that you live will be written in your life's book forever. You can't put all the memories in a hidden carpet and let them fill with dust. And you ask yourself if you'll be at their lines after a little time. You don't know what will happen tomorrow, so try to do what you enjoy the most today, live every second like the last. Love, fight for what you'd like, follow your dreams and smile all the time. Don't get obsesed with your past - the most of the experiences won't happen another time. Life it's easy with the eyes closed, so sometimes you have to follow your instinct to get where you want.

"If you cry for losing the sun, the tears won't let you see the stars". And they shine day after day, every time stronger to show you their light, making you remember that they're there at your side, and when you need them, you just have to close your eyes and a blow of wind will give you a hug. Thank you for filling my glass little by little, drop by drop. Thank you for taking me a step closer to the moon. Thank you for making me smile when I most needed it and keep me with you. I really, really love you :)

Ok, Joan, I've forgotten to write on the blog another time... I think I'll have to mark on a calendar the days that I have to post something, because if not, I will never remember. Also, these days we've had a lot of exams too and I had to study (I know that I always have an excuse) and I have to pass you in Music Challenge! But I'll try to write sooner the next time.

That's love!

They can say "That's love, sometimes it hurts, sometimes it makes you happy" but I won't believe it at all. It's much stronger than that, freaking stronger. You can be the happiest person in the world, and in an instant, the world falls over you.
Once you've found someone who'll change yourself and your life, he'll be at your heart forever. Maybe it's just because, when we are in love, we see everything with different eyes. Next to you, all the things are nicer, and nicer than everybody is him. He becomes the puzzle piece that you've been looking for, and for first time, you're complete. Then, you think that without him you are nothing, that he's more important even than breathing. He's like an angel.
You'd like to live forever if you could hold him close to you, see him smile. He's like heroine, and like all the drugs - when you're addicted, it's too difficult to stop taking it. For a moment, you'd give all you've got for him, run away together to the end of the world. And after all you've been trough, you'll just remember the good memories. You'll ask yourself how everything has finished like this without finding an answer good enough to make you feel OK.

It's true, love is difficult, but a life without it too. You have to live bad experiences to see the best ones like that. You'll survive another time. It's not the end of your life. You have two options: Keep waiting, or follow your way.



I'm sorry for haven't written in all these days. I've been a little bit bussy. I'll try to do it more often since today. I'll do the next posts happier than these, if I'm inspirited. :)

What happens to you, Juliet?

And now's Juliet who sings down his window. But nobody listens to her, nobody hugs her. She pursues her impossible dream, singing her sad love lullabys, those storys that always ends badly.

When the sun goes down, her soul falls with it, and with every new star that shines, there's a new scar that'll never heal. She dreams of getting out of there, of finding a well and fall inside without notice, where she couldn't go back. She dreams, and dreams, but knows she can't do it although she needs it, that she won't flee. She doesn't know how to break her f**king vicious circle. Juliet wants a light that gets her out of the fog without end, and she advances the way like she remembers it, but the girl doesn't know that, although she's running in circles, all in her side is changing and every time is grayer, sadder, more dead. She tries to start again, to do something better than trying to be happy, but all becomes a thought that vanishes.